Tank tops! [applause] Thank you. With my SUV in my heated seats. You fucking bunch of losers with your fucking cellphone pictures Fucking suck a dick. I broke the mic stand. I hope there’s a line of all of you guys getting fuckin car jacked and they take out their big black dicks and they just shove them right in your fucking mouths. Coming to you straight from the Rialto Square Theatre in Joliet, IL to your seat at home! I am so excited to be here. How about you hook them up with July? Suck a fuckin dick. Maybe you’ll win another one. Things went south when the tour came to the Philadelphia. Bill Burr came for Pride Month in his opening monologue for Saturday Night Live. You got a fuckin ping pong team? Say it. So, why don’t you shut up, sit down next to me and take your talking to. Sun goes down at 4 in the afternoon. That’s the first time I said cunt. I’ve never heard so much complaining in my life from white women. They’re literally running out of people to cancel. The only thing that’s gonna give it away is me laughing at you in the fucking background. Right? The month of June is gay pride month. Things went south when the tour came to the Philadelphia. © 2020 Scraps from the Loft. When the artist before him was booed off the stage, Burr decided to go on the offensive. So, thank you so much for coming out during these difficult times. Host Bill Burr does stand-up about the COVID-19 pandemic, cancel culture and white women.Saturday Night Live. Jesus Christ the goddamn people on this show are givin me shit. And then if you don’t wear a mask, that doesn’t bug me either. I hope your fucking radios fall on your heads tomorrow. So anyways back to the joke. That night Burr became the tamer of unruly audiences and earned an incredible amount of respect from comedians and working class audiences that now adore him. Sam Morril compares wearing a condom to doing volunteer work, wonders if murderers critique each other’s work and recalls befriending a vigilante in Cleveland. I was shooting a movie. Rainbow flags. Can you believe that?” It’s like, “Yeah. Bill Burr's SNL monologue was funny and appropriate. Take out your weak cousin with the asthma. This is probably the funniest SNL Monologue in a long time and it is no surprise that it offended the Twitter community. That’s a fucking record. [He looks around for the camera, then he’s pointing at the camera.] Just to refresh your memory, the ‘woke’ movement was supposed to be about people of color not getting opportunities, things that they deserve, finally making that happen. I don’t know. It had to happen. Burr then spent his 12 minute set picking apart every thing about the city from its food, its sports teams, its icons, all while receiving boos from the audience. [boos] BILL BURR: SNL MONOLOGUE (2020) – TRANSCRIPT Host Bill Burr does stand-up about the COVID-19 pandemic, cancel culture and the “woke” white women. In his second comedy special for EPIX, Craig Ferguson puts his sometimes cheeky, always irreverent spin on universal topics from sex and drugs to rock & roll-including his hilarious experiences with Mick Jagger and Kenny G. Kevin Hart serves up laughs and brick oven pizza from the comfort of his home, and dishes on male group chats, sex after 40 and life with COVID-19. They’re going after dead people now. Let’s talk white women. Never passed the fuckin 8th grade. 3 minutes left of this motherfuckin tirade. He said things that we avoid talking about in … 8 Minutes I’m doin it all. Yo – I’m seguewaying into my next joke. Someone tell him calling women 'bitches' isn't funny,” wrote one commenter on Twitter. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. Does it really have to come to this? What’s with all these people here?” And he was just like, “Oh, no, no. OK. Everyone’s chained to their fuckin chairs and just start blowing your fucking brains out. … Play the fucking records. Larry the Cable Guy is back to Git R Done. Your fucking Rush T-Shirts that say I beat the shit out of my girlfriends. Speaker Bill Burr: Thank you. All of you collectively SUCK a FUCKIN DICK. Bunch of racist fucking morons. Stops you from reproducing. Why don’t you fucking build something for Joe Frazier. Dude I think he can win! Wow, thank you. Throw out some topics Let’s talk about heart disease, something you’re all gonna fuckin die of. I still fuckin hate you people. All rights reserved. Fuckin boo me 9 hrs. 4 minutes left To fuckin talk about you CUNTS. Your accomplishments over the last few years. You all gonna go see Rocky 19. You fuckin jackasses. Shall we? Just keep making the cookies.” Yeah. BILL BURR: SNL MONOLOGUE (2020) – TRANSCRIPT Host Bill Burr does stand-up about the COVID-19 pandemic, cancel culture and the “woke” white women. Comedian Bill Burr's SNL monologue addressed everything from coronavirus and being 'woke' to gay pride and cancel culture, noting he'd probably be 'canceled' after his opening jokes. I hope you go 0-15. We lost our edge there for a minute. Thank you. All of yas…can line up with your Harold Carmichael fuckin jerseys, and one at a time you can all suck my dick. Maybe I wouldn’t have a bunch of cunts not fuckin paying attention 4 hours into a goddamn show. Some other shit-assed team that’s never gonna win a championship. It’s Pride month.” And I’m like, “What’s that?” I’m 52. into a fuckin show. I just blow all your fuckin brains out. I’ll probably get canceled for doing that joke. And this has always been a life long dream of mine to come here and host Saturday Night Live. You have a soccer team? I hope you all get in your Ford Focuses and fucking drive off the side of that faggot ass Ben Franklin bridge. You bunch of fuckin cocks. Roland Gabriel running around without a fuckin helmet. Original air date: October 10, 2020 Host Bill Burr does stand-up about the COVID-19 pandemic, cancel culture and white FEMA would never show up for you fuckin’ assholes. Keep listening to them. Fuck all you motherfuckers and fuck the Flyers. I got one first. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Oh Fuck all you people you ya know what you fucking losers, I hope you all fucking die, and I hope those fucking Eagles never win the Superbowl. Someone tell him calling women "bitches" isn't funny It's 2020. You don’t know who the fuck he is. Bill Burr - SNL MonologueBill Burr snl#BillBurr #SNL #Monologue Fuck all of you and fuck the liberty bell, and shove it up Ben Franklin’s ass. Bunch of fucking losers. Goddamn lawn seats. I hate this fuckin city. 2 MINUTES LEFT. “Bill Burr's opening monologue is just obnoxious and misogynstic. I hope he snaps both his fuckin ankles the first goddamn game. I’m getting paid to shit all over you guys and your stupid fucking rock t-shirts of bands that no one gives a fuck about. I’m gonna finish my set by takin this mic stand base like a fuckin disc. What else what else. This doesn’t change anything. You can’t see shit. Thank you. Bill Burr is exactly the comic we DON‘T NEED RIGHT NOW. Have a good night. Saturday marked his first time hosting SNL, and it's fair to say it's divided opinion. There’s gay black people, they can celebrate from June 1st, July 31st, 61 days of celebrating. The nerve… where’s the camera at? That’s what you did. who told bill burr he, a straight white man, should try to tackle homophobia and racism in the worst way possible in his snl monologue — ً (@wyattswoods) October 11, 2020 Me listening to Bill Burr again, let me say this, there's absolutely no need to call white women bitches, because I rock with at least 47% of white women. Lol. #billburr #snl Fun isn’t it. Yeah! I hope I hit a baby in the fuckin head. You don’t bring up race or religion with your grandparents. Comedian Bill Burr hosted Saturday Night Live last night (with Jack White filling in as musical guest after that country nobody Morgan Wallen was dropped for acting a COVID fool), and his opening monologue gave some a case of the cringes and others a case of of the slow claps. I wish I was on his fuckin tour right now. Also wtf is he talking about white women? We got a great show for you guys everybody. #SNL — Lori (@LoriAndJava) October 11, 2020 Bill Burr's opening monologue is just obnoxious and misogynstic. What do you think about that? You guys were phenomenal [Crowd Cheers] Oh no.. Bunch of fucking losers. Alright, that’s all my time. Sir why are you screaming? That I really feel great. Yes. Nobody wants to go on the parade. Why don’t ya just get the fuckin Ice Capades down there you assholes. Suck a dick. What’s that? All of you go fuck yourselves in your own assholes. And then somebody gives you that little nugget of information that just pulls it back? He’s not here. The terrorists will never bomb you people ‘cause you’re fucking worthless and no one cares about you. Never won shit, since fuckin Gerald Ford was in office. I don’t know how they did it. Grandma! View all posts by Don Roy King. Bill Burr's opening monologue is just obnoxious and misogynstic. It's 2020. CLEARLY it was the first Bill Burr experience for some people. Burr ripped cancel culture coming for John Wayne, white women hijacking the “woke movement,” gay pride month in New York and much more. I hope somebody takes a fuckin beer stein and just slaps you in the back of your zit infested fucking shoulders and your awful man tits hang. They’re trying to cancel John Wayne. You guys all look like surgeons with your masks on. And speaking of dreams come true, did you see Rick Moranis got sucker punched on the Upper West side? “My life is so hard. That fuckin pussy team. I come out here with a fuckin gun, hollow tip bullets, and I just start fuckin shooting people. Just listened to Bill Burr's opening monologue on SNL, then checked the Bill Burr hashtag on Twitter. That’s what I learned. I really hope all of you run into all those black people that you love so much here in Camden. Bring Tug McGraw back from the dead you fucking jackasses. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. I hope that happens to you. Bill Burr's "SNL" opening monologue received mixed reactions, but the comedian's fans were already prepared for his blunt comedic style. That’s what I do. Like, “Why is it so crowded?” “It’s gay pride month.” “Oh! That felt great. Someone tell him calling women "bitches" isn't funny #SNL Because a … And Twitter took the bait. Original source: https://www.wackbag.com/threads/bill-burr-tirade-a-transcript.51531/, Your email address will not be published. Listen, I don’t want to speak ill of my bitches here, okay? Alright? It’s great. I wanna thank you guys for having me. By the time the 12 minute set (which Burr counted down every passing minute) was over, much of the crowd gave the comedian a standing ovation. I don’t care. You keep it simple. What are you taking a picture of E-Rock? This is right here is the theme of my set – a broken mic stand. I have been doing stand-up forever. Suck a dick. It’s your decision. And it was about that for about 8 seconds. That’s what these people sounded like.” You never talk to your grandparents and brought up the wrong subject? What do you have to say sir? I would really enjoy blowing everbody’s fucking brains out. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Go fuck yourselves. Here's why. He was born in 1907. They’re all up in arms. What’s that sir? He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. Yes. Everybody’s shivering. everything’s just pressed up, you can’t see anything. Get the peep show back in Time Square, old people can walk safely 40 blocks away. That’s good. That’s a little long, don’t you think? Fucking warehouse working, weed smoking, fucking disappointment to your mother. I really hope that happens. Bill Burr [Starts with SNL monologue intro] [Cut to SNL stage] [Band is playing music] Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Bill Burr. I’m fucking trying to deal with this bullshit. Thank you very much. Viewers may know Burr for playing Patrick Kuby in Breaking Bad, although he has also fronted comedy podcast The Monday Morning Podcast since 2007. I don’t. What about not fucking interrupting me you jackass. You’re all gonna get fuckin cancer which is fantastic because all your fucking heads are shaved anyway no one’s even gonna notice. No one gives a shit. I have a little fuckin cane now. I do 3 minutes. Thank you. What the fuck am I gonna do at this point. Bill Burr Plows Ahead in SNL Monologue Charu Sinha 10/11 /2020 FDA promises no corners were cut in the quick OK of 1st U.S. COVID-19 vaccine Virgin Galactic aborts test in … What brilliant shit are you gonna fuckin tell me? With your red candy-striped faggot fuckin uniforms. “Remain Seated,” his latest solo special, will show you why this Grammy nominated, multi-platinum recording artist, and Billboard award winner is at the top of his game. Comedian Bill Burr has come under fire for his monologue on Saturday Night Live this week. And I was getting all claustrophobic. I hope the cheese melts your faces off. I really the title as “Bill Barr” and I was like wtf is he on SNL? It’s gonna be amazing. One said, “The outrage over bill burr’s SNL monologue just proves that y’alls sense of humor is officially extinct in 2020.” One critiqued, “Bill Burr was the absolute worst monologue ever - I turned off the @nbcsnl show. Your email address will not be published. You bunch of faggots. You guys were here man. You won one fucking world series since 1880. Bunch of goddamn fucking losers. It ain’t ever fuckin happen. Two guys kissing. Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. New York is back, baby. Alright listen I’m out of time. I got your mothers. City of Brotherly Love. Who’s he your dad or something? 7 Mother fucking minutes left. I hope that bridge collapses onto your pathetic lives. Is this what you want? You’re gonna get fired for coming to work too late cause they’re not gonna notice that you have fucking bone marrow cancer. Dude, black people were actually enslaved, they get February. That aint’ gonna work. who told bill burr he, a straight white man, should try to tackle homophobia and racism in the worst way possible in his snl monologue — ً (@wyattswoods) October 11, 2020 I hope your mother has herpes in the center of her asshole and you go home tonight and lick it and get it on your tongue and some other horrific shit happens that involves cancer – all of you. City started looking like a giant Bed Bath & Beyond, and then bam! The nerve of you white women. This gotta be fucking ridiculous. Huh? I don’t know. I hate the way you eat with your little shitty ass subway. Anyway, I don’t know. Thank you. It aint’ ever happening. Give them the sun for 31 days. It's 2020. You’re listening to the egg heads, the people who we all cheated off of in high school, right? Actor Bill Burr has been slammed after giving a controversial Saturday Night Live opening monologue, in which he took on topics including cancel culture. So, I haven’t been in New York for about a year. It’s like, god did that 40 years ago. The universe has to balance itself. However, Burr would not let the crowd get him like they did the previous acts and kept hammering the audience until some started to turn in his favor. 52 fuckin hours into a show. For a group of people that were never enslaved? White women, you’re amazing. It's 2020. Look at this. Go fuck yourselves. Listen. I guess my grandparents were older. I hope the glass gets fuckin into your fuckin shoulder blades and then I see you afterwards “Hey how’s it going” [simulates slapping a good friend in the back] Enjoy the fuckin show? You are this high above New Orleans. Went to the Banana Republic, picked a 20 dollar shirt off the rack. Jack White is here. Bill Burr had an amazing monologue on "Saturday Night Live." He ripped cancel culture coming for John Wayne and woke white women. He goes, “It’s gay pride month.”And I was just like, “Oh!” Dude, you know when you’re just like, stuck in the matrix and you just can’t– [keeping his palm very close to his face.] I had a great time with Judd Apatow, Pete Davidson and all the guys. Bill Burr's opening monologue is just obnoxious and misogynstic. All of you mother fuckers. Please stick around, we’ll be right back. Transcript of the "Philadelphia incident" where comedian Bill Burr went on a 12-minute tirade attacking the audience after the previous act was heckled heavily by the crowd. 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